How Likely Are You to Spontaneously Combust?

A humorous, cartoon-style illustration of a person sitting on a couch with various flames and fire-related icons floating around them, depicting spontaneous combustion in a light-hearted way.

Flame or Fame: How Likely Are You to Spontaneously Combust?

Ever wondered if you might burst into flames at any moment? Take this fun and humorous quiz to find out just how close you are to spontaneous combustion! Designed with quirky questions and entertaining choices, you'll not only learn about your fiery tendencies but also have a good laugh along the way.

Highlights of the quiz include:

10 engaging and hilarious multiple-choice questions
Insight into your risky behaviors related to fire
A chance to explore your inner 'pyro'

10 Questions2 MinutesCreated by FumingFunnel22

When was the last time you farted with a gas content of at least 35% methane?

A couple months, I’ve been doing a juice cleanse.

Within the last few days

I’ve been holding in my farts since the third grade. The government will never get my personal information.

My asshole is perpetually open releasing any gas, liquid, or solid as soon as it exists my large intestine.

How often are you within six inches of an open flame?

Always. It’s a religious affiliation.

Moderate-to-often exposure

I am sexually repulsed by fire.

I am currently on fire.

When was the last time you defaced a monument of God, Allah, John Romero, or any other celestial being?

It’s not a daily basis, but I’ll indulge every now and then

I’m legally not permitted to own spray paint, so not since 2004

I have never defaced a monument of John Romero. Still waiting for Daikatana 2.

Altars to holy figures crumble to a fine ash as soon as I approach them.

Have you ever spontaneously combusted before?

Never, the thought is unpleasant to me

Never, though I’m excited by the prospect

Once before, maybe twice, but only because a friend was doing it

I’m addicted to third degree burns, property damage, and hugs which threaten to detonate me

How much alcohol do you consume?

I am a child of the lord who does not entertain such sinful indulgences

I can finish a six pack of beer in a month or so

I regularly do kegstands and punch walls

If I stop drinking hand sanitizer I suffer withdrawals

Who are you voting for in the upcoming election?

The Keebler Elf who wants us to have enough money to afford education

Joe Biden was accused of sexual misconduct and so far his involvement in the polls has deterred investigation

Trump, I like what he’s doing and would like to see more going forward. Also my favorite animal is a lemming.

I am not a resident of the material plane, let alone the United States

Do you have any sexual kinks that would make someone want to set you on fire?

Rawr X3 *nuzzles your big strong chest* OwO

I can’t cum unless my feet are submerged in water

I enjoy the sensation of a thermite grenade inside of me

I either don’t know what sex is or am only turned on by beta kinks such as vore or inflation

To your closest estimate, how close have you been to a shirtless Scott Atkins?

Within city limits

We met at a Denny’s once, but his shirt was only off to wipe the grease off his waffle

I am Scott Atkins

I am Scott Atkin’s maid

Your friend is cleaning his firearm and you enter unannounced. A shot goes off, but doesn’t hit anyone. Are you still in danger?

No, though I would advise my friend to practice better gun safety in the future, perhaps by only loading the gun when it has been properly cleaned

Moderate danger, as I am within distance of residual heat from his gun

Severe danger, he knows I’m here and can’t allow me to leave

Bold of you to assume such feeble physical violences could penetrate my mortal shell

Finally, what is your relationship with the local fire department?

We are not on speaking terms

I have had multiple consensual open relationships with every fire fighter in my hometown, sometimes simultaneously

My town does not have a fire department because we live in the ocean

We’re okay, I mean it’s still awkward when we run into each other, but I’m sure they’ve forgiven me by now, right?

How Likely Are You to Spontaneously Combust?

Flame or Fame: How Likely Are You to Spontaneously Combust?

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