WHAT TYPE OF BOOK CHARACTER ARE YOU? 

TAKE THE FUN QUIZ AND FIND OUT

 

It's the zombie apocalypse. The Undead are upon us! Do you....

Evaluate the situation and do what you can to save others while fighting the hordes

Wait for someone to rescue you and join the first group of survivors you come across

Run outside towards the zombies in blind panic

Wait to get bit and relish the chance to lead your own horde of ravenous flesh-eaters

 

It's late at night. You are home alone. You hear a noise in the basement...do you

Grab a big stick and head down all steely eyed and square jawed

Phone your friend who is steely eyed and square jawed and likes going into basements with big sticks

Clump down the stairs without a care in the world

Nothing. You're the one in the basement make the noises...

 

Time travel exists! A portal has been invented, but the inventor needs your help to stop the baddies getting the device....do you

Rub your jaw and reluctantly agree. It's a bad job, but someone has to do it

Wait to see what the guy rubbing his jaw does

Run through the portal shouting 'yippee, I can see dinosaurs...'

Wait on the other side of the portal with a T-rex trained to eat jaw rubbing heroes

 

You're out jogging at dawn. You find a dead body down a secluded lane. Do you....

Pause dramatically while listening intently before slowly creeping forward to look for clues

Phone the police and wonder why your mate is pausing dramatically while craning her head over and pulling a magnifying glass from a pocket

Scream loudly and run about in circles

Laugh quietly in the bushes cos you're the one that put the body there

 

Space! The final frontier. Oh no! An airlock seal has broken and is about to burst open, sucking everyone into the freezing void of space. Do you

Leap to action and use your body to create another seal while engineers rush to fix it

Help the idiot that rushed to action by pushing him into the seal

Spin off into space because you're the one that broke the airlock

Throw banana skins on the spaceship floor to slow the engineers down in the hope the airlock busts open

 

You've been investigating a murder. You met the DA in a bar to discuss the case. Now you're back at their place and the DA is running a hand up your thigh....do you

Quiver and gasp while trying to fight the urges, then suddenly give in and tear your clothes off for a steamy sex scene

Carry on running your hand up the heroes leg in the hope they'll be up for some rumpy pumpy

What's a DA? And what's sex? Did someone get killed? Blimey...

Carry on running your hand up the heroes leg to distract them with sexiness, just so you can murder them mid-bonk

 

Back to The Undead and the zombie apocalypse. It's been a week. You're in a group of survivors. Everyone is hungry. While out on a scavenging mission you find a single can of beans. Do you...

Take them back to the group and make sure the weakest eat first

Take them back and let someone else decide how they are eaten

Hope to hell you can eat them cos you're the weakest

Kill everyone in the group and use the can of beans to lure in more survivors so you can collect their heads as trophies

 

You've found the bomb! It's in the school...Do you

Grit your teeth, pull a pair of wire snippers from your pocket and get at it

Shout at the idiot snipping the wires and tell them you should all really just wait for the bomb squad, cos you know, the school is empty and there's no danger to anyone

Scream 'there's no point in trying' and leap out of the second floor window

Detonate the second bomb attached the person yelling at the idiot trying to snip the wires of a fake bomb in an empty school

 

You had sex with the DA and might be falling in love, but now you discover the DA has hidden vital evidence. Do you...

Charge in and bust them while wiping a tear from your eye at the love that could have been

Hope the hero finds the evidence you hid so they'll pop over for more sexy-time

What evidence? And you keep mentioning sex, what is it? Ooh is that a bomb? 'There's no point in trying....' (leaps from window)

Release the blackmail footage of the first time you had sex with the hero while also hoping they'll pop by and see that can of beans you left on the path so you can add the heroes head to your collection

 

Time travel again! (Shamelessly plugging my own books you know...) you've been left alone with the portal. Everyone else is busy and nobody will know if you use it. Do you

Switch it off to preserve power and avoid the pitfalls of tweaking timelines with tiny changes that ripple out and cause untold devastation

Sod it. Rush through to join in with one of Caligula's orgies

Sod it. Rush after your mate trying to join in with the ancient Roman orgy and end up in the arena with an angry lion

Lure them in with a fake Roman orgy then attack them with the can of beans you kept from the zombie apocalypse and change time to make future historians think everyone was called Miriam

 

ICEBERG AHEAD! You've used the time travel portal and now you're on the Titanic. Do you...

To hell with it, you'll goddam save everyone and worry about the details later...huzzah!

Frown at some weird person shouting about an iceberg? What iceberg? Oh! That iceberg...

Why won't Rose just bloody budge over on that door? There's loads of room....

Mwahahaha they saw the first iceberg...now for the killer attack sharks and giant octopus

 

There's a huge horde of zombies chasing your group. Do you...

Stop dead in the street with a determined look in your steely eyes, rub your jaw and mutter "not on my damn watch,' before attacking the horde to buy time for your friends to get away

Hope to hell the mad idiot fighting them buys enough time for you all to get away

Gibber and drool a bit while shuffling on, cos you got made into a zombie on day one

Trip one of the weaker members of the group and shout 'She's super tasty' at the zombies before legging it

 

The DA has been kidnapped and tied to a chair by the murderer who wants you to burn all the evidence. Do you...

Plan a rescue mission while accepting you might not make it out alive, but by hell you'll try because only now do you realise you're in love with the DA

Hope the hero rescues you soon, but not too soon cos actually this baddie is really hot

Roll your eyes, huff and run in ahead of the hero knowing fully well you'll be squashed by a giant can of beans before being thrown into a pool with killer attack sharks and a giant octopus

Hope the hero comes soon so you can finish them off, but not too soon cos the DA is actually really hot....

 

You rescued the DA. Now they are refusing to do any further sexy time unless you get married. They also want you to meet their family at a barbecue this Sunday. Do you...

You break it off. You're a lone wolf who can't be held down by family and friends...

Actually, it kinda feels the right time to settle down and have kids

Why you asking me? I jumped out the window and got eaten by zombie attack sharks

You are the DA and this is all part of the master-plan to bore the hero to death with twenty years of nagging

 

The mission is over. Done. The world has been saved. But hark...is that a new threat from a new super baddie? Is there chance of a sequel? Do you...

Jump up and shout in glee while trying to see if your hero clothes still fit

Wow? A sequel? Yeah sure. Why not. Could do with the money actually. The car needs a new engine and my alimony is crippling me

I'm in! Oh....I'm dead already. Shit! Am I the murder victim. I knew it....

Rub your hands in glee because you've a new plan...now where did I put that can of beans?