What is your Primary Control Drama?

A conceptual image illustrating emotional dynamics and childhood influences in relationships, with a comforting, introspective setting

Discover Your Primary Control Drama

Are you curious about how your upbringing influences your behavior and interactions today? This quiz helps you uncover your primary control drama—those patterns and responses shaped by the pivotal figures in your life.

Through a series of thoughtful questions, we invite you to reflect on your past and reveal insights about your emotional triggers and reactions. Here’s what you’ll find out:

Your primary control drama
How your upbringing impacts your responses
Actionable insights on personal growth

8 Questions2 MinutesCreated by ReflectiveWave301

What is the closest statement your mother (or female caregiver/rolemodel) made when you were growing up?

I'm fine. (When you know they're not)

I told you so.

Nothing ever works out for me.

You better do ___ or else.

What is the closest statement your father (or male caregiver/rolemodel) made when you were growing up?

I'm fine. (When you know they're not)

I told you so.

Nothing ever works out for me.

You better do ___ or else.

Scenerio #1: Your kid's room is trashed. How do you respond? (If you're not a parent, imagine you are.)

You better clean your room or there's going to be consequenses (insert your own).

I'm tired of asking you to clean your room, what do I need to do to get you to clean up for me?

I guess your room isn't clean yet?

Why haven't you cleaned your room yet? Do you like to live in a pigpen?

I would never do any of these.

Scenerio #2: You have a coworker that you just don't seem to get along with. They say something that kind of throws you under the bus in front of the boss. What do you do?

Research way to fix the issue so you can think better on your feet next time.

Confront the coworker in front of the boss.

Cold shoulder the coworker.

Go to the boss about the situation and how they can remedy the tension between you two.

Give a vague response in the moment.

Do nothing but vent to your spouse later.

Defend yourself in the moment - yell, throw them under the bus too.

Scenario #3: You're in a debate with your friend and things are getting heated. What statement can you hear yourself making? (This could be a religious or political debate, or whatever gets your riled up.)

Well, actually...

You're wrong because....

It doesn't matter.

Give vague short answers to get them to stop talking.

Nevermind, I don't want to talk about this.

You don't care about my opinion so why continue talking...

If you value our relationship, you would see my side of the arguement.

If you continue this conversation, I am leaving.

Yell, get aggressive to drive my point home.

Which best describes you when you're having a bad day?

Aggressive, angry, cursing

Critical of others, Shutting others down

Withdrawn

Complaining

Which statement do you identify with the most?

I thrive off of attention.

I am mysterious with my emotions.

I am a researcher at heart.

I am the boss and my coworkers/family knows it.

What is your Primary Control Drama?

Discover Your Primary Control Drama

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