What Kind of Beastman Are You?

The Beastman Academy has four distinct schools. The right fit for you depends on how you feel about the beast within you!

This highly scientific quiz will help you discover the right school for you!

You should take it super seriously :-)

The Beastman Academy has four distinct schools. The right fit for you depends on how you feel about the beast within you!

This highly scientific quiz will help you discover the right school for you!

You should take it super seriously :-)

You've just gotten home after a long day out. All of a sudden, you are desperate to pee! What do you do?

Go immediately to the toilet.

Talk down the urgency. We're not puppies: we can be responsible for our own bladders!

Allow for basic etiquette like removing your shoes and not pushing in front of someone else who's more desperate.

Say to your nether-regions: "Look buddy, we were fine until three seconds ago when you suddenly realised there was a toilet nearby. You'll go when I tell you to go."

A friend fell in love with someone who doesn't love them back. The thing is, it's starting to make them act a little crazy...

They're being irrational. Primitive mating instincts are behind this.

Their feelings are valid but they need to find a healthy way to let it all out.

Don't overthink it. Love will find a way!

They should make sure not to hurt those around them. Later, they should try to steer their romantic chances by looking for matches with similar interests.

You share your house with a real-life monkey. What's it like?

Fun and friendly. Likes sharing bananas.

Loves a cuddle. Maybe a bit needy, but that's OK because you can handle the toilet-training.

Rampant. The pest keeps tearing up the place!

Well-meaning but requires a lot of training and attention.

You and a friend are minding your own business when a gang of hoodlums throw a milkshake at you. It splatters all over your friend.

Fight's on – no-one disrespects us!

Vent a little – maybe throw back the milkshake or some harsh words, but don't actually start a fight.

No point arguing with feral apes. Let it slide, but be prepared to thump them if they do it again.

If you had the time, you'd like to sit down with the gang and figure out why they did it. You think of it more as a crime of ignorance than one of malice. If only someone helped them outgrow their insecurities, they probably wouldn't feel such urges at all.

Arranged marriages! Good or bad?

Generally good. You can prioritise the meaningful things like character and interests; the superficial stuff isn't so important.

The chances are too high there'll be no chemistry. A couple can look good on paper, but the real world is much more complex.

The important thing is to reach a happy middle. The couple should be socially and intellectually well-matched, but there needs to be chemistry too. As long as they have the option of saying no, it should be fine.

Marriage is dated in its entirety – arranged or otherwise. While the world needs babies we should carry on doing it, but after the kids are old enough the marriage had might as well end.

You're home alone when you suddenly feel a craving to gorge yourself on sweet food.

Eat the sweets. If your body wants it, there's probably a good reason.

Compromise. Eat a small amount and see if that scratches the itch.

Resist. It's probably some kind of "fatten up for winter" instinct; you've got central heating for that, and sugar is bad for you.

Try to train healthier urges. Eat something with more nutritional benefits like fruit, a nice sweet carrot, or even just a glass of water.

It's your day off and a mild headache is draining your enthusiasm for the things you wanted to do today. There are painkillers at your disposal...

Take as many painkillers as it takes - you don't welcome this headache trying to ruin your day.

Take it easy, but try to tick off the things that are most important to you. If a painkiller helps with that, no problem.

Rest without taking any painkillers. You trust the messages your body is sending you: unless something urgent comes up, now is a time to heal.

Push through the pain! You refuse to let something so minor get in your way.

What Kind of Beastman Are You?

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