Understanding complaints

A complaining customer is:

Always right

Almost right

Often lying

Always the customer

Customers who complain:

Had unhappy childhoods

Are genetically predisposed to be sourpusses

Have trouble in their primary relationships

Are doing you a service in identifying what isn’t working in your business or organization

The best reward for your customer service representatives is:

Earplugs and punching bags

Valium or other mind-numbing drugs

Recognition and appreciation on your part

Anger management seminars

CRM stands for

Customers who complain want . . .

Something for nothing

To be heard and have their experience validated

An iPhone 7

To be made majority shareholders in the company

Customer Service departments:

Are the afterthought that cleans up messes other departments cause

Build customer loyalty

Are leaders in understanding customer behavior patterns and market research

Both B & C are correct

For a company to be considered service-oriented

It must mention customer service in its mission statement.

At least 18.3% of its employees must work in the customer service department

They must meet and play football at least once a month

Customer service must be addressed by all departments

A Call Center is defined as:

A location where complaints and problems are converted into successful saves for your customers and your company

The midpoint in duration of a telephone call

A revenue sink hole

A place where middle-of-the-road calls coexist with liberal and arch-conservative calls

Customer Care is:

A managed care medical program for customers

A nifty alliterative phrase that looks good in company brochures

A new program where customers care for themselves

A philosophy wherein the customer is wrapped in service even before a problem arises

Customer Service Culture is

A new form of yogurt where the lid removes itself for you

Behavior being analyzed in a Petrie dish for contagions

An environment where customer service permeates the thinking of the entire company

A mythical civilization in which everyone smiles and welcomes you when they meet

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