Ultimate guide to getting me out of the forest and hopefully into a shower

 

I need to find the first location to get me back to civilization, but the gps on my phone has been broken for 2 years. If you can figure out these next questions, maybe we can try and find out where I am...

I can hear a stream to my left.. By researching streams in the US, where could my location be?

Definitely a continent.

*sneezes*

Oregon... maybe Maine

Alabamalaska

Wait... Do you hear that?

Hear what? You're insane.

Yes, it's like... Sloppy incantations...

F-Froglin??

>Froglin the Sticky blinks his wet eyes slowly and unevenly.

"You seem troubled, my child. What is it that plagues your thoughts?"

I need to help my friend.

I need to help this girl I know. An acquaintance, really.

I need Tessin's chicken parm recipe

>Froglin observes several moments of tranquil quiet before folding his hands gently together.

"When the wind blows over the trees, do the leaves dance with joy, or tremble with fright?"

They tremble with fright

They dance

Must existence be always determined in absolutes?

They feel nothing, not even the breeze.

>Froglin turns slowly towards you, a wide smile blossoming on his face.

"When you are blown by the winds of life, I hope you will take your own advice. Go now, the answer you seek is already inside you."

*bow in respect*

*scratch your nose*