Ponder the recesses of your soul and find your true spirit totem.

Find Your True Spirit Totem
Embark on a whimsical journey of self-discovery with our unique quiz designed to reveal your inner spirit totem. Through a series of playful and surreal questions, you will unearth insights about your personality and perspectives.
- Delve into the depths of your consciousness
- Discover your ideal source of spiritual knowledge
- Contemplate life’s enigmas with humor and creativity

What is your ideal source of spiritual knowledge?
A tone-deaf woodpecker with a headache
A sedentary chunk of half-eaten salami
One of the red concrete balls in front of Target
Bill

What type of Bear is best?
True
False
Depends
Bears are lame

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To escape the terrors of his mortal existence
As a symbol of rebellion against the demeaning stereotypes of farm life
To wander in search of a crisp baguette
That's not even a road

What is 6÷2(1+2)?
13
8
0
1

Which of these plants will save the environment?
Seaweed
Kelp
Tofu watermelon
Ketchup

Which US President owned the most wombats?
John Quincy Adams
William Howard Taft
James K. Polk
Grover Cleveland

Which of the following is considered a war crime under the Geneva Convention?
Peeling sweet potatoes within 500 feet of a munitions warehouse.
Playing hacky sack with your non-dominant hand.
Getting 8 hours of sleep.
Eating in the mess hall with a fork with less than 3 tines.

What is your astrological sign?
Cancer
Candycorn
Virgin
Aquarium

Which of the following best describes your idea work-life balance?
A bloated narwhal abusing the welfare system
A sickly crime lord addicted to zucchini
A cross-eyed gopher digging a hole through the center of the earth
An obese golden retriever in a rich family's lake house

Which element best best describes your current level of investment in the stock market?
Water
Earth
Fire
Air
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