What Kind of Noble Would You Be?
1) How do you feel about wearing personal adornments and jewellery (rings, crowns, tiaras, bracelets, brooches, medals, chains and necklaces)?
I'd get piercings in ...interesting places which only my “friends” would find out about.
I don't and won't wear them.
Something big and iconic. Even though I'd hate it, it would inspire my people.
Are you kidding? I'd wear more bling than a beverly hills pimp!
I'd wear grizzly trophies hacked from my enemies which would hang dripping from my sword-belt.
A few very expensive but tasteful items to impress my equals and superiors.
2) A beautiful young woman is accused of witchcraft and the mob wants to burn her at the stake, what do you do?
Rescue her and prove that she is not a witch, then show everyone who blamed her and why. Improve women's rights in my kingdom.
I'd have her interred in my private little dungeon, we'll find out how 'wicked' that little witch really is, ;)
Take her before a court, if those who accuse her have no evidence or compelling arguments, punish them instead of her.
Watch her burn while singing “c'mon baby light my fire”.
Take her into my service, I could use a witch. If she doesn't have magical powers I'll have her trained as an assassin.
Save her if she's hot, otherwise let them do it if it makes them happy.
How would your tax policy go if you were head of state?
Tax is about making me rich, not my kingdom, I'd tax the hell outa people -heh-heh!
I'd tax the nobles and wealthy merchants then use the money to build public works, roads and infrastructure, etc for the people.
Sad as it is, I'd need to tax the peasants heavily, I have an expensive lifestyle to maintain.
I'm a firm believer in the old feudal rights of sackage, lootage, rapage, breakage, pillage, porridge and umbrage.
I'd make a noble I distrust my minister of finances and then force crippling taxes upon the people, blaming him for it.
I'd tax the nobles and give to the people.
A marriage is arranged for you with someone from a rich and powerful family, yet you are not attracted to them and don't love them, what do you do?
Love and attraction were never high on my list of reasons I'd marry anyway. Marry them of course, maybe get rid of them if someone richer and more powerful comes along.
Regardless of physical attraction, family values are important, I will be certain our marriage is faithful and that everyone believes our family to be the model family.
Marry them if they're hot and rich, otherwise don't – I'm the king, who's going to tell me I'm wrong?
I'd marry them but make certain that they are aware this this will be an “open marriage” from the word go, then I'd force them to join me in depraved orgies, who knows, they may find they like it.
I would present the illusion of a perfect marriage and happy family for the sake of the public but see my true love in secret.
Marry them, kill their family, take their lands and give them to my soldiers to take turns raping before I publicly disembowel them for being unfaithful.
What are your views on slavery?
I don't want to be a slave but I wouldn't mind having a few!
For public works and manual labour, no! For private purposes which I don't feel the need to disclose right now ...maybe -heh-heh
Taking a captured enemy as a slave is leaving an enemy alive, it invites a knife in the back. Kill enemies, take no prisoners or slaves.
I believe that there are ways of making slaves of all men regardless of their stations or birth.
I do not condone it, I would ban the sale of slaves and have all existing slaves work on great public works which benefit all, I would pay them with their freedom after the projects were completed.
It is disgusting and should be abolished.
6) What are your views on religion?
I dunno, I'll worry about that before I die XD
My private beliefs are not important, I know how important religion is to the man in the street and would piously support it for the sake of social order even if I thought it was no more than superstition.
I'd bribe an important priest or holy man into telling all and sundry that I'm a saint, meanwhile I'd indulge in other forms of worship which involve lots of wine, holy plants and of course violent sex, maybe throw in human sacrifice for lolzz
I will go with the public view without stating my own beliefs.
I like religion, looting churches and temples has been a major source of revenue.
It is good to have important clergymen in your pocket, they can pardon any transgressions and label your enemies heretics.
7) How do you think you will die?
I will die in a humble bed surrounded by friends and family, I will ask them if they feel I have done a good job as a leader and provided entertainment along the way then go out with dignity.
Rich.
Shot by a jealous husband at age 75.
Like a warrior, with a blade through my guts in the mud and blood and p*ss of the battlefield.
I'll be poisoned or otherwise murdered by some slimy bastard who wants the throne.
In a tragic way which will inspire the people to take up my cause.
How will you be remembered?
I don't care, I'll be dead.
I'll be remembered for throwing over the top parties.
As the greatest warrior to have ever lived.
I want to be remembered by the improvement I make in the lives of my subjects, not through statues or monuments.
When they finally figure out what I have been up to all this time I will be remembered as a notorious villain.
I will be remembered by those I have helped, fondly I hope.
What legacy would you like to leave behind?
A prosperous and peaceful state where everyone is happy and safe.
I'd have a huge gold state of me put up in a public place and make a law that anybody who touches it gets their head chopped off.
I'll leave a huge and ornate palace so people think of me when they see it.
A pile of skulls nine miles high, the wailing of widows and charred ruins where once great cities stood.
It's not something you would understand.
I would like to leave an inspiring story which fills people with hope, I would like to leave a trust fund to benefit the most vulnerable in society.
What would you like the people to think of you?
That I am fearless, remorseless, quick to anger and slow to forgive.
I would like to be though of as someone who did their job to the best of their abilities.
That I'm beautiful, interesting, mysterious and have amazingly good tastes.
That I'm filthy rich, powerful and untouchable.
I want those of a higher station to underestimate me and those below me to fear me as though I were the devil incarnate.
I would like to be remembered not for my wealth or position but for being a human being so that others can try to match my accomplishments in the future.
A dispute over land between two wealthy but not noble families threatens the peace, what do you do about it?
Deal harshly with any transgressions which arise during the conflict, have the heads of the two families brought before me and make them present their cases, make sure everyone knows my ruling is final.
Confiscate all their property.
Tell the civil authorities to handle it, I have more important things to worry about such as where to find a good stripper.
Kill off both families except the women who I'll keep in my harem.
Use this conflict to manipulate one into killing the other then confiscate their lands as punishment for murder.
Give my own land to the poor and invite them to do the same.
What are your views on legalising marijuana?
Should have been done aaaages ago!
I will have to think long and hard on that one, I will balance the happiness of my people and the added revenue taxing this drug would bring with possible civil disturbances and the criminal aspect which always plays a role in such discussions.
Why bother to legalise it? Everybody smokes it anyway. Tell the cops to confiscate it and bring it to me, let the poor stoners go free afterwards.
I don't care about stuff like that.
I would put this to the public vote and go with what they want.
Legalising this herb denies me opportunities to plant it on my rivals and have them arrested.
An angry mob gathers outside, what do you do?
Have the ring-leaders executed but be sure to do my best to address the reasons my people are unhappy in the first place.
Kill them all, even the women, the elderly and children. Go to their homes and kill their families, burn down the city as punishment for their disrespect.
Give them cheap wine or something, the party inside would be too loud for me to hear them anyway.
Tell them to f**k off, I'm the king, I can do whatever I like!
Find out who the leaders are, have the idealistic demagogues executed to make an example of them but if there are any clever leaders bribe them or win them over in some way, you never know when an angry mob will come in handy.
I would go out in my nightgown and address the people's grievances speaking from the heart and trying to find a way to solve their problems.
What are your views on the duty of nobles to the people?
I don't want duties, that's what being rich is about, paying people to do your duties for you!
The nobles must provide an example of luxury and good taste which the people can aspire to. They must bring the finer things back into the world.
The nobles should protect the people and lead them into battle.
The nobles must provide an example. As hard as the people work, the nobles must work twice as hard. Being a noble or head of state is not a blessing from the heavens, it is an important job which must be taken very seriously.
Most people are not so good at thinking for themselves, that is what nobles are for.
Nobles are who they are not by the grace of God but by the grace of their subjects.
What could you promise the people if you were to become head of state?
I would not rest until our country was at peace with all its neighbours, free from corruption and the standard of living of even the poorest was much higher than it had been before.
Uhh, world peace or some sh*t, anything to win the election.
However brief my reign, it would not be forgotten soon!
I can't promise much more than blood and toil, but while I live no enemy will threaten our borders!
Political stability. If anyone wanted to take power from me I'd have the murdered before they got anywhere close.
Freedom, equality, fraternity and that they will be heard for once.
Someone disagrees with you, you know that you are in the right but they are too suborn to see it that way, what do you do?
Cut off their head and mount it on a pike.
If they present their disagreements reasonably, I would be sure to try to get them to see reason, if they do not, I will be sure to deal with them harshly. Not for disagreeing with me but for being unreasonable about it.
Tell them they're stupid and chuck them out of the kingdom.
Spike their drinks, get them to do really, really bad things and then blackmail them into supporting me always. That or torture the bastard, depends what mood I'm in.
I'd seem to befriend them, using it as an opportunity to dig up dirt on them and if that failed I'd talk to a certain talented associate about how tragic accidents can befall proud nobles.
Present my reasonable case to the public and let the people decide who is right or wrong.
What do you think about books?
I'd like my biography to be an inspiration to the people.
I read many, I want to make public education a priority.
I'd rather watch the movie. If they didn't make a movie then it was 'coz the book was no good anyway.
I'm a fan of -um, well 'picture books' and sensual adventure novels.
They are good for lighting fires and for the purposes of personal hygiene.
Niccolò Machiavelli is my favorite author.
Who would have the right to judge you?
There is no “right” about it, I will be judged by history and it is my responsibility to make sure I leave a legacy behind which is beyond question.
Nobody has the right to judge me!
God I suppose. Oh I'm going straight to hell, I know that but anyone else alive would do what I do if they could afford to.
I don't care about stuff like that. Judge all you want, you'll have a f**king hard time carrying out the sentence.
Anyone with the brains to work out what I have done.
The people I rule over.
If you weren't a noble, what profession would you choose for yourself?
A farmer, a doctor or a soldier, anything necessary which requires hard work in service to the state and my fellow man.
I'd be rich.
Hmm, I'd be a private entertainer for wealthy ladies or maybe a wine taster.
I'd be a trusted advisor to the nobles, help them through difficult negotiations and to make the right choices.
A soldier.
I'd be a volunteer doctor or I'd petition the nobles to reform the rights of the common folk.
It is your birthday and a public celebration is in order, what do you do?
I would have no celebration but give the people the day off work as a paid holiday.
I'd throw this huge “clothes optional” street party with free drinks for everyone, all my friends would be there and we wouldn't care what got broken 'coz I can pay for it if I'm king.
Every day is my birthday and the celebration is a private (“clothes optional”) affair.
I'd give ale, whores and meat to the peasants, I would be on the battlefield or out hunting so I wouldn't care.
Use it as an opportunity to impress important and influential people, serve a lot of wine to loosen the tongues of my worthy guests.
Sell my lands and finery and give a gift to the people.
You are having a dinner and inviting important nobles, what are your instructions to the cooks?
I would instruct them to prepare a simple meal of the sort the country people eat with a good side dish of humility for the pampered nobles.
Oh honey you are sooo naive to think we will be eating anything!
I'd tell them to cook a big expensive feast to show everyone how much money I have an how good my tastes are.
Skin and gut the boar I killed earlier, roast it over the fire but don't burn it, I want blood in my meat.
Spike the drinks, heh-heh, also make certain that a specific person gets a specific dish which I have personally prepared...
Not to go overboard with expenses, there are more important things we could be spending the money on.
You are hosting a dinner and inviting important nobles but there are not enough seats for everyone and some of the nobles are not on speaking terms, how do you resolve this dilemma?
Duh! I'd buy more chairs and a bigger table.
Skip dinner, take them all to bed, we can sort out our differences in more... Exiting ways.
I'd have the nobles fight to the death for the honour of sitting at my table. If they hate each other it is better that they kill one another here and now than that they attack each other on the battlefield and let my foes win because of their petty squabbles.
Dilemma? I only see an opportunity to win support and sow discord amongst the other nobles.
I would have those who disagree with one another present their cases, those who are not satisfied by my attempts to resolve the dispute may leave, should there still be a shortage of seats after that I will stand for the whole meal and have my family serve the guests.
Send the troublesome nobles home and invite common people who have dedicated their lives to helping others in their place.
If you were not the head of state, who would you want to rule over you?
A sexy dominatrix with a big whip. Oooh, dominate me!
I would want a wise, just ruler who put the people first, someone who understood the importance of ruling fairly.
Nobody.
A great and fearless warrior so no one could call me a coward when I fought him to the death and took his kingdom from him.
An impressionable idiot, someone the people will hate and blame for anything which goes wrong.
I'd want the people themselves to democratically elect a leader.
On the battlefield things are not going your way, what do you do?
Make love not war.
I would make a treaty with the enemy leader if possible, it is better to be humiliated and thought of as a coward but have my people safe than remembered as the brave warrior who sacrificed himself for no good reason and died before he had the chance to see his people conquered and subjugated.
I am not on the battlefield, I have already dealt with the leaders of the enemy army. I won before they had a chance to declare war.
Run like hell.
I'll take the point with all my men behind me and fight to the last drop of blood.
Sacrifice myself so that the people will be inspired by my heroic death and fight for their freedom with everything they have.
What do you think of the rights of the peasants and lower classes?
I think the rights of all are vitally important to any healthy society, I will do my best to fight for the rights of the oppressed and to educate people about inequalities that we take for granted.
The rights of all citizens are equally important, as are the responsibilities of all citizens!
They don't need any, they must do what I say because I'm the king.
Good in theory but a luxury I can hardly afford to indulge with my expensive lifestyle.
Rights and respect are things you earn on the battlefield. If they want to improve their station they can carve their way to glory as I did. I have no respect for cowards.
Publicly I pretend to support them, privately I plan to work them to death and blame one of my rivals so that they will love me when I “free” them by killing him.
While taking this quiz I:
Answered honestly so I would learn about myself.
Got bored and chose random options.
Wanted to answer honestly but chose the funniest options instead.
I told the truth, this isn't important enough to warrant me making things up.
I tried to work out the system and gave dishonest answers I thought would give me the result I wanted.
Asked someone to help by giving their honest opinion of my character.
Do you think you should be a ruler?
Hell Yeah!!!
If it is my destiny I will do it to the best of my abilities and if I am meant to be a farmer I will perform my duties to the best of my abilities as well.
My title is not something I was born with, it is something I took by force and won by the sword. If someone else thinks they would make a better ruler let them come before me in combat to prove it.
It is the only way to get everything I want all the time.
I think I should have wealth, influence and power. If I can get that through someone else even better, I will have someone to blame when the people get upset.
My views on the matter are unimportant, I will go with whether the public wants me as a ruler or not.
Would you ride a horse?
I´d ride a v8 horse made in Germany
I'd walk, people should recognise me for my accomplishments, not because I put myself above them
Into battle, yes, around town, no
Sometimes it's more fun to let the horse ride you
No, I'd make an easy target
An open topped cartridge is more my style
What do you think of dancing bears?
They're funny and cute
Don't play with your food!
Can they be trained to lap dance?
I pity the bear, but if it keeps people happy then better they are cruel to an animal than to eachother
It is inhumane! Rather pay a person to entertain the crowd
I find it more amusing to make people dance to my tune
What do you think of bull fighting?
I don't know and don't have an opinion
It's disgusting and should be banned worldwide
It would be better to kill the bull quickly and feed it to the crowd
I like the version where naked boys and girls do cartwheels over charging bulls
I think the bull should be covered in chainmail with steel capped horns and hoves to make it more interesting
I prefer football
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