What kind of Maltese man are you?

A humorous illustration depicting two contrasting Maltese men, one in traditional attire with a shotgun in a rural setting and the other in stylish modern clothing at a cafe, showcasing the cultural diversity of Malta.

What Kind of Maltese Man Are You?

Discover your true identity as a Maltese man through this engaging and entertaining quiz! Whether you're from the south or from Tas-Sliema, find out where you fit in and what characteristics define you.

11 fun and thought-provoking questions
Gain insight into your cultural identity
Share your results with friends

11 Questions3 MinutesCreated by DancingFalcon27

Broadly speaking, there are two types of Maltese men but many of us are a combination of both categories. Take this anthropologically sound test to find out which group you identify with most.

What car do you drive?

Ford Escort Mark 1 b'zewg speakers b'woofers almadonna u erbgħa stickers fuq wara.

Toyota Prius. Perfect for cruising on the coast road but kinder on the environment hux.

What is your idea of an ideal weekend?

Sitting in a little hut in a field waiting for the opportunity to blast a little bird out the sky with a shotgun while wearing combat gear. In the summer, sitting outside an illegal home-made boathouse with the whole family, cooking bergers over a home-made barbecue which consists of a few bricks and a grill which used to form part of a public sewer.

Posing at a cafe at the Ferries, talking shit while wearing a custom-made Ralph Lauren polo shirt. All year round.

Describe a pleasant evening out.

Head to Paceville, get drunk, throw empty bottles at random strangers, get into a brawl, go into a nightclub playing bland techno music until its ceiling collapses. After a regular trip to the hospital and or St Julians police station to help with enquiries, stop by at Golden 7 in Msida for a 'Hot Dog b'kollox'.

Head to a 'stylish' wine bar at Portomaso for an evening of inane conversations and regurgitating old stories for the millionth time over some overpriced wine with 'il-killka', where some 'jazzy' background music creates the illusion of sophistication.Maybe drive to Rabat for pastizzi in the early hours to connect with those quaint, friendly folk from the 'rahal'.

Describe your ideal woman.

Someone whose jewellery and make-up considerably dwarves the weight of the clothes they are wearing. Beautiful and sexy but knows to be silent when the men are talking.

A sexy lady who dresses stylishly in the latest designer clothes. Beautiful and sexy but knows to be silent when the men are talking.

What is your favourite meal?

Swordfish Carpaccio for starters, then the Assiette of Prawns with Couscous with a Salad Sorrentina, all washed down with a bottle of Pinot Grigio, a Fernet Branca Menta, a bowl of home-made,gluten-free gelato alla fragola, a packet of Twistees and a Kinnie.

6 tal-pizzeli, 6 ta-irkotta, 2 qassatat, 2 servings of timpana, 3 pizza tal-Wudy, 2 pizza 'normali', a packet of twistees and a Kinnie.

What values do you associate with being Maltese?

Boq. Vera I don't know ta. Forsi il-papa ikun jaf.

U issa gej b'hafna kliemtqil bl-ingliz. Int mhux Malti? Mela kellem bil-Malti ghax nifqalek wiccek, ja demel!

What do you make of the so-called 'Panama Papers' scandal, implicating Minister Konrad Mizzi?

A disgraceful abuse of power which has brought shame on our nation. Both Mizzi and Muscat should resign immediately.

U fuq il-pool ta' Beppe Fenech Adami m'ghandkomx mistoqsijiet? Jaqaw xoghol is-saharra tal-Bidnija dan il quiz, jew? Qala ma tmorx tiehdu il-Panama Papers fil-warrani, ja mahruq! X'alla biebi minn daz-zobb ta' quiz u Panama Papers l'ghandkom.

What kind of Maltese man are you?

What Kind of Maltese Man Are You?

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