Who Said It? - How I Met Your Mother

"No no no! Ted, do not give me that look."

"What's going on? Did I just have a stroke?"

"Hi. Look how sweaty my hands are! It's weird, right?"

"Your cab got T-boned by a jackass on a cell phone? "

"Your breath reeks of shredded carrots and deceit!"

"This is not about how you're coming across... But no."

"You guys keep fighting all you want, as long as the expensive gifts keep coming."

"You people are whores. The things you're willing to do just for some money, it's shameful."

"You say things."

Well, it's just If you lived your whole life thinking one thing, it would be pretty devastating to find out that wasn't true."